I love this.

What a great message to put out there and how hypocritical of Instagram. Now, I do understand how this works. Instagram doesn't have millions of employees who check out photos and decide what should be removed or not. They probably have some type of filter and if they get more than "x number" of reports, then they take the photo down.

I don't think there is any other way to do that for them considering the millions of photos being uploaded.

But that is beside the point. This fantastic woman is right on! What a great role model for all of us and really, the examples are so true. There are so many overly sexy photos of bare asses on Instagram and fitness women in tiny shorts to show off their asses after 2 years of squats and lifting weights or what not and then a lovely soft arse gets tagged as inappropriate?

Jesus. I know we are living in a looks obsessed society, but come on!

On a similar note, I was watching a program about pornography the other day on ITV I believe. It was investigating the impact that pornography has on the younger generation, the ones who have grown up with smart phones and have access to hardcore porn. They interviewed a ton of teenagers and early tweens and it is what I expected:

The young women said the following:
- Boys expect that they are completely shaven
- Boys expect anal sex
- Boys expect that they can ejaculate in their face
- Boys think threesomes are normal.
- Orgasms? Of course. Multiples please. Even for a 15 year old.
- Girls were shocked when they didn't  have this amazing orgasm during their first time.
- One girl, who's boyfriend was into rape type porn, ended up being actually violated and raped by him. She said they both got their "sex ed" from porn and she didn't really realize what was happening to her, except that the porn he watched was getting darker and darker and more violent and so was her sex life.

Other stories were equally disturbing. Like the 19 year old, who had been working his sex drive out by myself with porn since he was 11, who simply could not achieve an orgasm with a woman's vagina because he was so used to his own hand.....I am sure he can work on that.

Ok. This is going way off topic and should have been a separate post, but what all of this has in common is the picture of perfection and expectation this content creates. Looks or behavior and the effect that has on people.

I mean, if you watch US television? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH HAS STRAIGHT WHITER THAN WHITE TEETH. What pressure. My teeth were  never that white and even when I was a teenager and said to my dentist that my teeth look dirty, he took out this little chart of colours and explained that my teeth are simply that colour and that I wasn't born with white teeth. Shocking.

I have frank conversations with the teenage men in my life. And one message is:
1. Unless you get paid for it, let's just assume that NO woman likes a man to ejaculate in her face. Just assume that and you are fine.
2. Porn stars are porn stars. They are actors. Women come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some shave, some don't. Some wax, some don't. Embrace all of it and you will have a better time in life. Also: orgasms can be faked. Assume that most of the ones in a porn movie are fake. That's a realistic starting point.
3. Anal? Seriously. Please master the front door first in all its glory and be open to exploring whatever it is you desire, but this is all about communicating with your partner and not expecting anything.
4. Threesomes? Jesus, let's refer to 3 again.

I know. This went to hell in a hand basket quickly...but you get it, my possums.

This is the story for most of my life really. Plus or minus 10 pounds or so. Except for when I was 87 pounds, but that is not the story.

I was walking to work from the gym this morning and I thought to myself, as I walked by an outdoor cafe full of people....what do they see? Now, in a perfect world, I wouldn't give a shit and I have days where I am incredibly on the not giving a shit scale, but I just spend an hour in front of full length body mirrors lifting weights and comparing myself to where I was last year at this time, leaner and slimmer (unfortunately not in the  most healthy manner). 

So what do they see? They probably just see some woman in her late 30s going to work. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe the real question is what do I want them to see and why do I even ask that question. For validation? Do I really need validation? I suppose I do. There are a lot of instagram selfies and pictures and I love hearing people tell me "that looks great on you". There is a huge part that does it because I love fashion and clothes and I love some of the things I put together and hey, I don't have any girlfriends here and I work with men all day, so it's nice to share on social media and get 99% of the time girlfriends say "CUTE". But there I still an underlying issue probably. I am still working on my insecurities. I think I have grown leaps and bounds in the past year. I am actually impressed with myself.

So really. What do I want them to see. A woman in her late 30s, walking to work, who is strong, in shape for her body type, attractive, dresses well. That's probably at the core of what I want them to see. Other attributes like KICK ASS intelligence and all doesn't apply in this case.

My shape has been a struggle though this year. I won't lie. I have had a hell of a time trying to find some type of good gym routine. A lot has to do with my longer commute and longer work day and just being tired. I also had a long period, months and months, where I slept absolutely awful, which made getting up at 5 am to go to the gym pre-work very difficult. But since I have finally gone home and seen my friends, I feel a bit calmer and more settled.

Today was my third day at the gym and I am back doing my very awesome weight training schedule. I can't even describe how SORE I am. It feels great, even if I look like an old lady when I start walking. Holy ouch! I need to get a couple of more workout in this weekend, so I will do something on Saturday and Sunday and voila, 5x during this week.

I am committing to going at a minimum 3x per week to the gym for the next month. I am hoping that my sleep will continue to do a bit better and that I will be able to do it. My body needs it. I feel a lot softer and I can see that I AM a lot softer and weaker than what I was and I would like to regain some of that strength back. :)

Goal: 3x per week to the gym between now and mid-June at a minimum. Focus on strength workout with less cardio.  Minimum of 1x weekend workout.

As you all know, I can write ad nauseum about skincare. I do  like all of my skincare I have been using, but I have been itching to get my hands on another my beloved Night a Mins from Origins.

What a week, folks!

I am back in the game noe, which includes blogging.

I came back from Boston on Monday (a week ago, sniffles), went back to work on Tuesday and on Wednesday my mother arrived and she is leaving today. So time was a bit nutty. During that time, I also had one night where I only slept 2 hours (fail) and I edited about 100 engagement photos (yay) as best I could.

Yeah! It has been busy.

We had glorious weather though. And this was my mom's first visit ever to an adult home of mine (no joke) and her first ever visit to England and her first ever visit to a big town like London.

She had het first high Tea at a posh hotel, her first Starbucks and she was completely amazed at the diversity and size of the city.

We packed a lot in! 

I have a Boston hangover and it is probably going to last a few days. Thankfully, I am insanely busy at work, clearly missed after having been gone a little over a week and I have family coming to town tomorrow.

Waking up this morning and walking to work was a bit odd, because it felt really ODD that I was in the UK and that my friend family wasn't just one room or town over. It felt lonely, but at the same time I am still on a high from my wonderful visit.

A few things:

1. Boston hasn't changed much, thank god. I am grateful for that. I stepped into the Terminal at Logan and immediately felt at home. This is good knowledge, because I don't feel that here or even my birth country and I would have been pretty sad if that feeling would be gone in Boston. But no. It just felt like home. I was properly relieved and couldn't wipe my smile off my face.

2. I hadn't realized how much thinking is required to shop for groceries here. I hadn't really noticed, but when I walked into Stop 'n Shop I realized that I knew every product (pretty much) in that store. I knew what I liked and what I didn't like and voila. Here in the UK, I still figure out what I like and what I don't like and I think, without even knowing, I do "think" a lot while shopping (will I Like it? How much is it? Will it be a waste of money if I hate it? etc). So that was a nice surprise.

3. Driving around Boston and being able to give people directions on where to go and park was awesome...cause...let's face it. I barely can find my way from my workplace to the train in London.

4. I am loved and I feel so lucky I have such amazing friends. It didn't feel like I had been gone 1.5 years. That's awesome an gives me hope that time will pass quickly.

5. I  miss my friends already. But I know now for sure that nothing has changed and I am back in 6  months for a wedding. YAY.

6. I still love Wheat Thins Reduced Fat in a bad, bad, bad way. I love them hard.

7. Fajitas are the best. Particularly at my favorite joint.

8. Monsieur's at the M Bar are still my favorite cocktail.

9. Tapeo still does good Tapas, but where is the gluten free bread? If you have a gluten free menu, come on, folks!

10. Boston is the most beautiful city. People are friendly and customer service is ace. I loved it and it was a nice reminder that when people smile more, their day is a ton better.

12. Washington DC is an awesome city. It is growing on me more and more.

11. I shopped successfully, more on that later. :)


Thank you Boston for loving me back. I will be back. Soon and then soon again!

Sunday I am heading back to my UK home and I am looking forward to seeing my love and my dogs:) yay!

I spend Thursday in Washington DC, a city I adore and where my bestie lives. I think DC is not on people's mind as much as other big US cities, but woe, to I love it.

I wore my usual uniform of black, black , black and holy hell, temperatures reached 30 Celsius. I die!

But I am tough, so we did go see the Capitol and otherwise just hung around Georgetown and Dupont Circle.

I also had a great time at TJMaxx and scored two new dress at 29.99 a pop and a new handbag!

Took a road trip on Tuesday night with a friend. ended up in  motel in Western Massachusetts. Got woken up at 4 am because had very anti-climatic sex next door. For real. I think they fell asleep during....

Back in Boston at lunchtime and saw some awesome friends. Sat around here:

Was present to see my besties wedding dress! Gorgeous!!!!!

And had forgotten how amazingly artificial this tea is.

Off to DC on Thursday:)

And then I hung out with two of the most special women in my life and it feels like things will be ok.

What a happy day:)