I don't think there is a lot to add here.....
I mean. What the fuck. 34. THIRTY FOUR. That is ridiculous.  And you  know, I may be approaching 39 now and struggling with that bit, but this headline is just SO fatalistic. Yeah, I get it, we are not getting the same level of attention as we used to, but what is way more important is how you feel about yourself. I don't value myself by how many men slobber around me. Frankly, they never really did. I was always the girl that could easily go out and not get hit on by one person. Always. My entire life.

In terms of the general woman hatred that the Daily Mail has. Don't get me wrong, I still read it, but wow, just wow.

Here are some more "headlines" that really emphasis the obsession with our looks but also the tearing down of women.

For the record: There is one on men too;)

New York Times article.

I really enjoyed it! Give it a read!

Strong.

Determined.

Smart.

Beautiful.

Wiser in some ways.

Excited.

Fun.

Joyful.

Screeeeeetch!

Wait.

That's what it could be.

Why did I choose to spend the time that is inevitable with thinking about the lines on my face, the size of my thighs, the way my makeup looks on Monday and then comparing it to Friday, the changes in my face.

That's my reality but I want to change that and get, at least some of the time, to the first list in this post.

I know I can.

A few years ago, a friend of mine said to me "I can't wait to turn 40, then I become invisible."

Wait, say what?

I couldn't really believe what I had just heard? Us? We are fabulous, how would we EVER become invisible?

Fast forward a few years and I have to agree with her  - to some degree.

It is true that in terms of marketing and media, women in their late 30s are a bit on their own. Give me one GREAT woman's magazine that targets women in their 40s. Wait, one that isn't talking about how to be a better wife or a better mommy or how to better cook a turkey while balancing husband, life and child?

Crickets.

There aren't really any. I do think "O" magazine fills a bit of that gap and I also absolutely adore the UK's "Red" Magazine. Both look at women as women first. Not as mothers, partners, wives, workers or cooks.  And that is where the story lies a bit, isn't  it? We start defining ourselves as something that we do, but not something that we are. First and foremost, we are and will always remain women (unless you want to be a man, which, hell, GO DO IT, LIFE IS SHORT). I think that is where we loose ourselves, that is where we try very hard to be the best mother, partner and what not that we forget to just be us. Frankly, just being a woman on its own isn't exactly a walk in the park.

I often think of that conversation. " I can't wait to become invisible" because I realized that I don't want that. I don't want to become invisible.....and then suddenly I started worrying about it, realizing that my level of attractiveness will fade, no matter what and that less people will hold doors open for me. It's almost as if, as a woman approaching 40, you better take out the red lipstick, become bolder, more confident, more yourself, just to be clear that we are here and we are loud and proud and definitely not invisible.

I never thought getting older would be something that would bug me and I am pretty determined to not let it bug me. The last year particularly, it seems I have lost myself more in the fear of getting older and that just needs to stop because, hey, that's not going to change. Time will continue to move forward and embracing all of it will be what is on the list of things to do.

Age is a question of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
  ~Leroy "Satchel" Paige

I have had some blogs in my blogging life, one was rather successful, the other ones feeble attempts to reconnect to the first one. This past year I have spent in a new country, away from my friends, away from the city I grew to love, united with the man I love, finding a new job, finding a new way to live my life. It's been a challenging year in all those ways. On top of it, for the first time I am realizing the weight of getting older.

Getting older can suck it. I decided that 2014 should be the year where I let go of my fear of aging. Where I start enjoying my new home more, where I do more things for me and where I try to live with less fear. I am not sure how to do that, but writing and blogging has always been a fun outlet for me and let's face it, the best part about blogging is connecting with other people, getting comments and wise words of advice, or encouragement or a swift kick in the bum.

It will take a while to built any type of comment structure, I know that, if ever. 

So what will write about here? A lot of things I enjoy and care about: Fashion, confidence, wants and needs, self image, working out, living abroad, making friends, approaching 39 and such.

It would be fantastic if you want to join me and leave a comment here and there.