I know what motivates me, what gets me going in the morning.
When I moved continents, I battled about one year with knowing that I won't be able to work in the field I want to work in. The main reason? Salaries. Don't even start calling me a sell out or greedy, we are not talking a few thousands "difference", I have taken a pay cut before and I would do it again to work somewhere where I love to work, no we are talking tens of thousands difference and that was just a no go for me. I do measure my success at how much I earn. I also measure it on other things, but there is such a thing as living the life you can afford and the salary cut I would have had to take to work in my field in this city I am in now would have been around 50%, while my expenses would have gone up, I kid you not, 35%. So that's a no go.
I made peace with it though. My first job here? I worked for the devil again. In Finance. But it was a decent devil. I liked my colleagues, I liked the firm, the job itself, well, I constantly had deal with working with the headquarters, which sometimes felt like I was running around with one arm tied behind my back. Coming from a place where I ran the show, I now had to adjust to running a place WAY slower and that was tough, but I managed. I thought that would be the only job I would have in this place, because, we want to go back home eventually.
But then my first job closed our office and I had to find a new gig.
My new gig is so so so much better. Yes, I don't have many colleagues and yes that is getting to me, but the scope of work I do is way better, I can DO, I am trusted and I can run with things and I get to travel as well.
I realized this week the following: It is really hard to work in a place where everyone is super motivated and hyped up when you yourself really don't care about the mission. I am trying to look at this is an experience to grow and to take on lots of knowledge and experience to take to my next job some day, but it's hard. Maybe because I am having an emotional week, but I miss working for a place with a true mission other than making lots of money. I miss working for a place where I can help do some good. That can be nonprofit or for profit, don't get me wrong, but I just really miss doing that. My heart hurts a little for some reason today. And this is why.