I know a bit about suicide and depression.
A friend said to me that they don’t really understand at all. L’Wren Scott was with a very successful, rich man, she had a wonderful life, successful career, independent woman, lovely homes - how bad could it have been?
Probably just as bad as for you and I.
You can never judge someone’s situation on your own. Some thing that might seem absolutely miniscule to you, might be epic to me. Mental illness, depression, whatever it might be, doesn’t stop at your bank account or at the door to your 5th Avenue condo. It doesn’t stop with a black Amex card and with fancy vacations, unfortunately it doesn’t even stop for people who love the person and care for them.
Suicide and whatever leads to it are absolutely terrifying animals. I am saddened that these two women decided to take their own lives, because I know that there is a light at the end of that long, awful tunnel. I know that there are ways that you can come out of the impossible desperate and hopeless place you are in triumph and live a fulfilled life.
I, however, will never be able to judge someone or call someone selfish for committing suicide. People who commit suicide often believe that the world will be better off without them. So to them, this wasn’t really a selfish act, but an act of making the lives of those around me better and making the world easier to live in. Now, however sad and sick that might be, but that’s is the place people get to.
I remember the depth of my own black hole many moons and many therapy hours ago, the blackness of the hole, the hopelessness, the scariness, the sadness and I can never, ever judge someone who cannot stand it any longer.
I just wish that they had someone to talk to. I just wish that everything would have been done to help them, get treatment, hospitalization, help. Anything. We don’t know anything about these two women. We don’t know their struggles, how long they have struggled, if they had help, therapy, medications, hospitalization. We will never know any of that. But at the core of it, just remember that suicide is not a selfish act to the person who is committing this final, sad step, because the person who is going down that incredibly lonely path most likely deeply believes that life for those around them will be better without them.
Of course this is incomprehensible for those who love this person. Of course it isn't logic or makes sense that they would leave life thinking they are doing everyone a favour. But depression and mental illness unfortunately don't make sense. They don't stop at "reason" or at "logic", sometimes, they just keep trudging on until the light at the end of the tunnel is so dim and until hope is completely destroyed.